An Early August Exercise in Meaningless Conjecture

Okay, it's late summer, and I'm incredibly bored. Ridiculous rumors about Peter Forsberg being interested in becoming a Penguins aside, I've been taking some time this summer to ponder something perhaps far more ridiculous on my own.

So, deep breath, and here goes. Excluding salary concerns, chemistry concerns, and yes, even physical and mental health concerns, along with discarding any realism about what it would take in terms of assets to acquire such a player, which current NHL player would you add to the roster of the Pittsburgh Penguins in the hopes of transforming the team into "odds on favorite to capture the Cup this season?"

Since I am not considering salary, chemistry, health, and as I have likewise discarded consideration of what the Penguins would have to give up in order to obtain this one player who would put the team over the top, two blueliners come immediately to mind. If you guessed that both rearguards manned the blue line for the Anaheim Ducks last season, you get a gold star. (Snark.)

For me, adding either Scott Niedermayer or Chris Pronger to the roster of the Pittsburgh Penguins transforms the Penguins from a good to very good team to a team on the cusp of greatness. Pronger and Niedermayer bring different styles to defense, but both are defensemen capable of playing shut down minutes in addition to playing key special teams roles. Pronger, his suspensions included, would bring a nasty edge to a defense corps that for the most part lacks that harsh edge. Since I'm not considering such things as injury history, chemistry, or anything else besides skill set, really, if there's one player whose skill set I'd want to add to the Penguins in the hopes of transforming the team into Cup favorites, I want Chris Pronger. I want his ability to cover for the mistakes of young defensemen, and I want his mean streak.

I imagine that other Pittsburgh fans could reasonably decide to want players such as N. Lidstrom, S. Niedermayer, or even young D. Phaneuf in Calgary or perhaps two or three other young rearguards in the league. I'd imagine that Pittsburgh fans could see their young team catapulting from good to great with the addition of a phenomenal two-way, Norris Trophy winning defenseman. Considering the caveat of turning the Pens into a Cup favorite this season in answering this hypothetical question, I don't care about potential for what Phaneuf or Shea Weber or Jay Bouwmeester will one day be. I only care about which player, this season, makes the instantaneous impact of turning the Pens into a team that no one would want to face. For me, that player, by a hair or two over others, is Chris Pronger.

Now, for the first set of commentary, which player is your answer to my hypothetical question of "excluding salary concerns, chemistry concerns, and yes, even physical and mental health concerns, along with discarding any realism about what it would take in terms of assets to acquire such a player, which current NHL player would you add to the roster of the Pittsburgh Penguins in the hopes of transforming the team into "odds on favorite to capture the Cup this season?"


Even with adding a Norris Trophy defenseman, it should probably be noted that the Pens would be best advised to acquire a legitimate first line winger. Again , applying the hypothetical question of no concern for salary, physical/mental health, chemistry, or assets it would take to acquire such a player, which top-line wing would you add to the Pittsburgh roster in the hopes of transforming the team into a Cup winner this season? For me, like it or not, the answer comes fast and furious: Jaromir Jagr. He's a natural wing, a wing who can score goals in addition set up goals, and setting aside three years of his career, he's one of the the greatest players in NHL history. Fans who remember his histrionics should know that Jagr comes to play when the games matter the most: he scores the game-winning goals (see: 1992 playoffs, 1999 playoffs). If we're talking pure skill set for a winger, I'd take Jagr as my top line right wing if I want to win the Cup this season.

Answering objections that are sure to come, I realize that other wingers, e.g. Martin St. Louis and Dany Heatley, could be considered. St. Louis, unlike Heatley, at least has played for a Cup-winning team, and if I actually took "chemistry" into consideration, St. Louis would be a better fit. But neither Heatley--his current lack of Cup winning experience stands against him--nor St. Louis--brings the same "carry two men on my back and still score" ability of a power forward that Jaromir Jagr, at his current age and state, still possesses.

So, in sum, if I somehow had the magical ability just to be handed one player as a gift, I'd pick Chris Pronger. Answering the objections of Penguins fans who are all too aware of their team's need for scoring wings and given one more free gift, I'd choose the man who still holds the scoring records for most points by a NHL right wing. What about you? Which current NHL players, most likely a defenseman and a winger, would you pick, considering ONLY playing prowess, to transform the Penguins from a very good team to more-than-likely Cup champion this season?

And, of course, I must conclude with the note that all of this is a meaningless exercise. The price to acquire assets such as experienced future Hall of Fame players is far too high for a team such as Pittsburgh to be willing or wise to pay. The price even to acquire players on the verge of unrestricted free agency (a la Dany Heatley) is likewise too much to pay. Still, in the long line of ridiculous, inane, never-will-come-to-actual-fruition summertime thoughts, I still desire to hear answers to my hypothetical question.

After all, there will be enough time for the realism of shortcomings/weaknesses (e.g. lack of legitimate shut down defenseman, the apparent lack of a world class sniper on the wing) when the 2007-08 season is in full swing. For this summertime moment, have away at this meaningless exercise in conjecture. Please.